In a perfect world
People consider it normal to think “What’s the worst that can happen?” scaring themselves miserably as a result. Any time you imagine disaster looming take a moment to indulge in “What’s the absolute fantasy perfect world best that can happen?” If you are giving a...
You are not alone
Who could you call at 4:00am if you needed to talk about your troubles? If you can immediately give a name then chances are you will live longer and happier than someone who has no close confidantes. Loneliness is seriously damaging. One of your life’s goals must be...
Perfect vs Good enough
The world is divided into ‘maximisers’ and ‘satisficers’. Maximisers make you move tables three times in a restaurant till they, notionally, have the best one. Satisficers tend to know when things are good enough and can get on and enjoy their meal while maximisers...
Act with random kindness… again
Other people are an antidote to the downs of life. Research shows that acting with kindness is the most reliable way to increase well-being. Do one wholly unexpected kind thing today and tomorrow. You are already doing basic door holding and seat giving, I am sure. Go...
Discover your purpose
It’s easy to keep your head down, being dutiful, working hard to get by. Later in life people often stop and ask, “Is this it?” Don’t leave the question of your purpose in life too late to do anything about it. Start with some questions: What are your deepest values?...
Be a shining star
Have you ever watched a toddler attempt to learn something? Walking? Piling up bricks? Learning to talk? They work hard, pursuing success with focus and attention that is humbling to observe. Later in life, we can be a bit half-hearted about achieving new skills. We...
Give it time
Older isn’t just wiser. It is happier too. Research shows that happiness and optimism peak in your 70s and 80s. People are often less happy in their middle years because they get bogged down in responsibilities and anxiety but then well-being rises for the rest of...
Free gifts!
In Hamburg at the Christmas markets, we saw a group of students with ‘Free Hugs!’ banners. Everyone was studiously ignoring them, going about their serious shopping. Speaking halting German, the six of us went and claimed our free hugs from each of them. We made...
Reciprocity and good turns
You never know when you are ‘entertaining angels unawares’. When you encounter someone and have the opportunity to do them good, you have no idea if anything good will come from it for you in return. Do it anyway. The world is a small place, really. When you make an...
Dealing with grudges
Is there someone you resent? When their name comes up does that feeling boil up again. Where did this come from? How long has it been going on? How does it affect you? By holding this grudge are you making a difference? If stuck, draw a circle in the middle of a page....